kyle steed

The following contains a story of hope and brutal honesty that is not popular to talk about at most cocktail parties.

For as long as I can remember the grip of lust has followed me around like a lost puppy that I just couldn’t say no to. Growing up in the “free world” has it’s many advantages, free water, free speech, free education to name just a few, but to every coin there are two sides. The flip side of the “free world” is the glamorous, dirty exploitation of a woman’s body to help sell a product. You don’t have to be a Christian either to see this truth, just flip through the pages of any popular magazine or better yet, take a trip to your local mall. These images plastered on buildings, magazines, websites with seductive women staring back at us exploit the weakness in men’s hearts everywhere and weaken our defenses to keep our minds pure.

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Today I am celebrating the one-year anniversary at my job, aka my workiversary.

Looking back on this past year I must admit I’ve reached a level of success that I didn’t think possible. You see, when I left the military and my wife and I moved back home I had no clue as to what lie ahead. My only direction was the way that God was moving in my life. And when He said “yes” to me getting out of the military I didn’t waste one second. Of course we had made preparations for our move back home, such as saving $10,000 and making plans to stay with friends until we found an apartment, but there was no job waiting for me. If there’s one thing God has taught me though, it’s that making preparation is just as important, if not more than, the actual manifestation of his promises.

So it was no surprise when the first job I took was working in the photo lab at Walgreens. That lasted mmm… less than a week, and with the famous last words “Thanks, but no thanks” coming from the manager, I gladly removed my vest and walked home. That was on a Friday, and I started at Half Price Books the following Monday. My month long stint at Half Price was enjoyable, I met some cool people and fulfilled one of my desires to always work at a bookstore. (FYI - it’s just another job) But I knew something better still awaited me. And around the middle of September I got a call from a recruiter who knew of a company that was looking for a web designer. Let me back up and say that if it weren’t for my friend and resume writing ninja, Sydney Smith, I would’ve never got that call. Thanks.

I think there are few times in life when you know, without a doubt, that The Lord has directed your steps and you are exactly where you need to be. My interview at WaveTwo was one of these moments. When talking casually with my future boss, John Arnott Sr., after my interview I came to find out that we did the exact same job in the military. Only his service preceded mine by a good thirty years. And that may not seem like much to the natural eye, but after I heard that something inside of me knew this was a perfect fit. Now a year later my knowledge of web design and development have far exceeded my expectations. Even having to work with Microsoft products has taught me to humble myself and my attitude towards those who aren’t fortunate enough to know the joys of owning a mac.

So it’s been a good great year for me. My only hope is that this next year is even better.

I know there are many interpretations of this Yeah Yeah Yeahs song, but from all live clips I’ve seen Karen O always describes it as a love song.

To me this is the story of the prodigal son and his father’s unconditional love. The maps are just metaphors of all the directions we can go in life. The line, “They don’t love you like I love you”, speaks of a greater love we have yet to see. All to often we live according to the many forms of emotion and lusts of the world. But these are only there to distract us from the truth. Not the truth we find in books of knowledge, but Jesus Christ, who is the way, the truth and the life. It is His love that can not be compared to.

My own walk of faith is a testimony of the love of Jesus Christ. He is my map. If it weren’t for His unconditional love I would be just another apathetic twenty-something.

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“Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.” - Psalm 127:1

In today’s world we have lost the value of roles in society. Everything now is run by governments and/or big business. But long before the systems of the world there was a different kind of ruling and authority established. Within that rule there were different roles given to individuals who the King perceived as worthy. We probably most commonly associate this with times when men wore stockings and women were beheaded. But there resides a kingdom which exist beyond our physical realm and yet is more real than the skin we live in. And there are those appointed in this kingdom with a very demanding job, to stand on the walls of the city and keep watch.

As the name suggest, watchmen are those few that are appointed to keep a watchful eye for anything unsuspected to occur. They work long hours and all through the night, as that’s when the enemy likes to attack. This goes without saying that it’s not easy staying awake while everyone else is sleeping. And I know I’ve fallen asleep on the job before. Who honestly enjoys being alone in the darkness? But what joy it is when you see the first sliver of day light and the sky turns from black to purple to blue to orange to yellow to blue with a slight shade of green in between.

“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.” … “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.” - Matthew 25:1-4, 13

As Christians we are all called to keep watch, in a sense being watchmen, but there is a distinction between watchmen of the city and those being mindful of their own personal actions. Please note that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ and this is something that was in my heart to share. I hope this blesses you.

“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” - Deuteronomy 8:3 (Moses speaking to the Israelites)

“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” - John 6:51

To this day I still don’t fully understand the process of fasting. I understand it’s simply giving up something for a certain period of time. But what I’m talking about is how do I know it’s the right time to fast? Sure our religions have set apart certain times of the year where you pick something to obstain from for 40 days. They even made a movie on the topic. But unless we hear from God what He is calling us to give up isn’t it really just torturing ourselves?

So up until last week I had not considered fasting for a long time. I think the last time I can remember was before the military. But talking with Jason about how The Lord was having him fast for his daughter really sparked something inside of me. And I wanted to hear what The Lord might be trying to tell me. Everyday last week I woke up thinking I should fast that day. But it wasn’t until Friday that it hit me. And this is the cool thing that I found out, God doesn’t strike you down if you mess up. Because I was pretty sure I needed to fast my breakfast, but I ended up eating some pop-tarts (which were so good). So I decided to fast for lunch. Also, another cool thing I learned is that God will honor our choices to obey Him even if we’re off a little bit.

Now I can’t claim to have fasted completely from all food for lunch that day because I know my body and how it reacts to low blood sugar, and I still had the rest of the day at work to finish. So this is where the bread ties into what God showed me. I asked The Lord what I could eat, and all I heard was bread. So I got two slices out of the fridge and then thought peanut butter would go good with it, but I heard “no, just bread”. So I thought “okay Lord, this is weird.”  Now there I was with two slices of plain wheat bread, feeling kind of silly, but as I sat down and began to eat The Lord began to unfold some things. He spoke to me about removing the sweet things, like peanut butter, and all the other things we pile on top of “bread” and going back to the simple piece of bread, the foundation of a sandwich. It was really pretty simple but something so profound at the same time that I still don’t get it all.

I think the biggest thing that’s come of this is the revelation that nothing is as important as my foundation, the bread alone. All the other toppings and condiments in this life are nice and full of flavor, but do not provide the real nutrients my body needs.