My first full year as a father is behind me. Wow! That's crazy to acknowledge in writing. Never again will I know what it's like to be alive without the betterment of my child(ren) in the forefront of my mind.
Also, the beginning of this year marked the 3rd year I have been working for myself. However, this year has also proven itself to be the most difficult/challenging year working for myself. Even considering the travel opportunities me and my family have had half way into this year, the rate of steady business just isn't the same as the past two years. Does anyone know if there's a way to convert miles traveled to money in the bank? LOL!
But seriously, it's really hard not to turn inwardly and think I've done something wrong. You know what I'm talking about? It's somewhere between a feeling of guilt and helplessness. My wife and I have these conversations often. Me saying something to the effect of "I don't know what I'm doing." and her saying something like, "You're awesome. God is good. We'll be okay." She really is the better part of us.
So instead of turning this into some weird pity party I would like to instead make a list of ways I want to change, honor my family, continue on in my faith, and ultimately love those around me well this year. All with the hopes that this time next year I can look back on this list and cross some stuff off. Even if it's just one.
01. Create better boundaries around the bedroom (no cell phones before and after sleep)
02. Ask God more questions, and find a place to sit and listen
03. Go for the gut, conversationally speaking, when I'm with close friends
04. Be present in the moments both big and small, but mostly in the small ones
05. Walk more. Seriously. Why are we Texans so addicted to our cars?
06. Take up a hobby that doesn't involve my phone
07. Own up to my own shortcomings and learn to laugh at them
08. Read a good book
09. Be vulnerable. That whole "strong and silent" thing just doesn't work in real life.
10. Make more art and find a way to show it in a gallery
11. Build a studio in my backyard