What is this feeling? Can you feel it too?
There is this shift happening in me. And as I’m in the midst of it I have no solid answer. And still I can’t help but observe what this shift feels like and how its simple, but profound, effects are evolving my consciousness.
Just two days ago waking up I felt like a giant weight had been lifted… a beautiful clarity left my heart feeling light and care free as my children. Then two weeks ago, in the middle of my meditation, I experienced what I can only refer to as a giant shift in my body. My mood, my physical health, all were empty before I sat down, and then afterwards I felt completely renewed. Where does it come from? There seems to be a connection between my growing practice of yoga and meditating and this letting go I feel happening inside. The heaviness is lessoning. The worry is not as worrisome. The self-criticism is transforming into a more kind and gentle voice in which I speak to myself.
One way this shift has been showing up in my day-to-day is this phrase; I’m not above it. And at first my wife was really confused by what I meant. But, hey, I’m not above that either. It’s not something I feel needs explanation, or something I feel is directed at anyone or anything. Rather it’s a constant reminder for me to try new things, let go of old things, and hold it all with an open-handed approach. Not taking things for granted. Not waiting for the future to happen to me. Not regretting the past behind me.
i.am.not.above.it.
And so while I sat over a cup of coffee this morning. Legs crossed in a seated position. I was reminded of my enoughness today. In the face of our constant conectedness there is much to be said about the effects it has on our desires and our endless need for more. And still it always leaves me feeling lacking. The ironic part is that with all the information I have access to, all the avenues of connection, they always lead me back to wanting. Meaning, I can no longer push against the natural rhythms and seasons of life. So I return to the present moment. I return to my inner presence and trust that I am enough. I trust that today is enough.