Life without a phone
Over the past two weeks I survived without a phone. That means for two weeks I experienced the joy and struggle in living without a device that keeps me constantly connected to the world around me. But I didn't choose this of my own accord, it just kind of happened. To make a long story short, my phone was killed by the salt water in Florida thanks to a faulty iPhone case that claimed to be water proof. That's not the point of this post though, so without further ado here's what I learned:
Feeling like a kid again
The joy in living without a phone is the simplicity of life. I didn't have to worry about filling awkward silences in life with fumbling through the apps on my phone. I didn't have to worry about interrupting my life to tell the world in 140 characters or less about something that doesn't even really matter. I didn't have to worry about taking pictures of the food I ate, the shoes I was wearing or the sun setting. Instead I got to enjoy those small parts of life with those people I love in person.
I really loved not having to worry about these things. Seriously. I enjoy dealing with silence and figuring out what to do about it. When I'm not distracted by what everyone else is doing it gives me a chance to do something unique. I could read a book. I could go for a walk. I could do a million other things and no one else has to know about it. It reminds me of when I was a kid and all I had to rely on for fun was my imagination.
It's Still Tough
As much as I celebrate the fact that I survived without a phone for two weeks, it was still difficult living day-to-day life. Probably the most challenging part was the lack of communication I had with my wife during the day. Apart from instant messages and emails when I was working, I didn't have any way to contact her until I got home.
Without a phone it's easy to feel disconnected from your friends. But I feel it actually forced me to be even more intentional with those closest to me. I was still able to find ways to connect with those close relationships I have here at home and a few states away. It may not have been as easy as a push of the button on speed dial, but at least I was able to talk to them.
The first few days of not having my phone were the most difficult. But the longer I went without it the more peace I felt about not having my phone. I was totally disconnected from everything and it was great.
Something to think about
If I have learned anything these past two weeks it would have to be this: I have given technology way too much attention in the past. Meaning, instead of just living in the moment and enjoying memories as they happen I've been consumed with capturing that moment and sharing it with the world. But what does that really profit me? What's the point of sharing memories with a thousand other people if you can't enjoy them with the few you're with in the moment?
More in number than the sand
The facts are these: 1. Losing my phone to the salty ocean water was a blessing
2. Fresh shrimp + ice cold beer + best bros = best way to spend an afternoon
3. Waking up to see the sun rise over the ocean will speak more to my heart than a million books ever could
4. Dance parties are always better once everyone's had a few drinks
5. Spending a week on the beach just isn't long enough
After making one last pass through the beach house on Saturday morning, just before our drive home, I couldn't help but feel a hint of melancholy. This house had come to know the sounds of early morning coffee, the pitter patter of a toddlers footsteps, the way wine poured in our glasses and the way we all rose our glasses to give thanks to the Father for allowing us to be together in one place. The walls still echoed our laughter and talks from the week before. Of course we will always have the memories, and photographs, to look back on and remember. But there was something deeper I think the Father was talking to me about that I want to try and bring to light.
The beach house was a representation of His body, His church. It was built with plenty of rooms to rest and plenty of space to stretch out and relax. It had a huge kitchen to cook in and a big table to gather around and eat and drink at. There wasn't a moment in time that I ever felt cramped or that I couldn't take a few minutes to escape on the porch and just sit in silence to watch the ocean. In essence it had more than enough room for all twelve of us that stayed in the house. We were free to move around and come and go as we pleased. We were free to get a little crazy and have a dance party in the same way we were free to just chill and relax. Most of all we were free to be ourselves.
One of the coolest things that we all got to experience being down at the beach was the sand. It is everywhere. You can't escape it. When we would get home it was all over the floor and even found its way in our sheets. You could sweep it up and try and wash it out, but the next day it would be back again. And that's the amazing part, because in the same way that we could never count the number of grains of sand on the beach is the exact same way God thinks about us. We can never count the thoughts God has towards us. And we can try to ignore them or get rid of them, but they'll be back again tomorrow.
I love how the simple things in life are the most profound.
Freelance Week #33
I'm gonna keep this short. Most days all I know is that God is good. That's it.
These past few weeks have left me speechless at the Favor I've received from my Heavenly Father.
But even greater than His favor is just knowing Him.
The minute I try and chase the blessing is the moment I lose sight of who He is. All I want to know is God. I think that will be enough for the rest of my life.
Keeping up with myself
I'm glad there aren't more hours in a day. It forces me to be picky with when and where I choose to spend my time. Of course, I don't always make the best choices. Sometimes I spend too much time at work, or sometimes I spend too much time laying in bed when I know I should be up already. Whatever the case may be, it helps me keep things in perspective when I know today is all I am promised. Tomorrow may not come, and all the better if it didn't. But we get caught in the routine of life and find comfort in those things we think we control. But is anything really under our control? Or is there a greater force at work behind the scenes? One of my biggest challenges is being content. Contentment is hard for an artist. Ever-seeking and never satisfied with the current state of things. There is always something else to create. But we have had the answer staring us in the face the whole time. You don't even have to flip the pages that far. In the first book of Genesis we find God hard at work creating everything from the heavens and setting the stars in them to us, both man and woman, from the dust of the ground. God worked his butt off for six solid days. But then what happened next is so huge that it requires great focus and determination, He rested. God stood back, I imagine with arms crossed and a great smile stretched across his face, and saw that what He had made was good.
It was good. It is still good. It will forever remain to be good.
Resting isn't being lazy. Resting is the promise we receive by faith to believe what the Father has spoken and trusting Him to provide all the while continuing to live and work and love. I still have a hard time seeing the grey areas in life. I have strong opinions that are either black or white. So this concept of rest being a simple promise that I can live in but still work hasn't been the easiest thing to wrap my head around. I guess it's still got my head in a whirlwind. That's okay though. God doesn't need me to always understand his words, just believe them and receive them. So I believe in the promise of His rest.
... All of that to say these past couple weeks have been off the wall. I'm keeping really busy with a few different projects and still finding time to spend with my wife and friends. WELD continues to inspire and encourage me. Not only is it the best co-working spot in Dallas, it brings in new and exciting people all the time. I'm excited to be a part of what's happening now and in the future. The next four months are going to be full of new and fun adventures for me. I can't wait to walk through them and see how the actual experience compares to the thought of them all now. Surely it will be greater than I imagine. Thank you, again, to everyone out there who continues to read these posts. I always love to read your comments.
Work hard. Trust God. Enjoy life.
The Past Two Weeks
The past two weeks have been super busy for me. I feel like in one week I went from no work to full capacity. Which is great though, don't get me wrong. I feel like I've expressed it here before, but there's nothing worse than not having work to do. However, in that lull I found time to pick up speed on some other personal projects. My buddy Matt and I are making leaps and bounds over at Folly. I found time to put together a new site to sell premium instagram prints, aptly named Steedagrams. But more importantly I am continuing to learn how to be at rest and remain thankful in times of lack. My current condition does not change God's position in my life. He is still good no matter what the condition looks like.
Business is still a vast ocean to me. I feel like I know just enough to get in my boat and start rowing, but still wonder if I should have read the owners manual. I guess my view about business is the same about everything else, it's all a learning process. But I know that even if I go out beyond the site of land and my boat sinks I know how to contact help. The friends I've made along the way these past 5 years of designing are so valuable. People are always the most important part of any adventure. I hope I never forget that.
Lastly, just want to say thanks for your continued support and readership. Keeping up with this blog continues to prove itself a challenge, but it's your comments and encouragements that keeps me going. Thank you.
Love and Marriage
Before I got married I thought I had it all figured out. I knew the right words to say. I knew how to be romantic. I even thought myself to be a pretty sensitive guy. How's that verse go? Don't think of yourself more highly than you should? Well I was definitely on my high horse, and now I know what it feels like to get knocked off. Side note: I've only been married for six and a half years, so I won't pretend to know it all. However, having other marred couples in my life as examples of what a successful marriage looks like has given me hope and a little bit of insight.
The Challenge
Marriage has to be one of the biggest challenges we will ever face in life. It's not something you can just set on cruise control. It takes work, a lot of work. It will break you down and build you up. It will expose the most selfish of desires. It will test your patience, kindness and grace all in a day. And as a man, it will offend your pride and test your integrity.
My friend Ben said it best when speaking about his wife of more than 18 years;
"My wife is more interesting to me than anyone else. She is also a great problem for me because of the continuous challenge she poses to my instincts that are not toward intimacy and trust."
I love reading that last line over and over again; "The continuous challenge she poses to my instincts that are not toward intimacy and trust." Dang! That shines a big fat spotlight in my heart. I face the same challenge every day with trusting and loving my wife. But the other part that really struck a chord is this line, "a great problem." I love to solve problems. In fact, I make a living solving problems. But the heart of a woman is anything but a problem to solve. It is a great mystery. I don't want to think of my wife as a problem to solve, but I know it's in my nature to try.
The Truth
Real love comes in the form of a choice. It's not a feeling. What the movies and books don't tell us about love is what happens after the happy ending. The part where you have to roll up your sleeves and do some work. The purest form of love I know chose to be humiliated and die. I think Jesus endured physical pain, to the point of death, because he knew a love that was greater than a feeling. That's the only kind of love I want.
The Reward
Intimacy with another person. When you trust someone enough to let them see your dark side, and they still love you, that is something to cherish and protect.
My friend, let's call him Ed, said it best; "I failed my way to success in marriage." That's a bold statement, but then you'd have to know Ed. He's overcome a lot in his life by the grace of God to speak those words. I love his testimony and getting to watch now as the Father rewards him openly for the many battles he's had to fight in private.
So now I continue on in my marriage. Not led by my feelings or how the world says a husband should act, God help us, but by the Spirit of Truth. Confident in the hope I have in Christ to keep our marriage on solid ground. That our common bond is found, not on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.