faith

He drew a circle

We read in Genesis 1:1 that God created the heavens and the earth, but what happened before he created them? This is where my mind wonders today.

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I imagine God, in all His infinite wisdom, sat down at His desk one day and began to draw out of his imagination a beautiful picture of existence. His paper was made out of dust and particles and he had many different drawing utensils. Some that drew light, others that drew planets, and a whole set, freshly sharpened, that were specifically for drawing every living creature. Every stroke of his pencil was made with such precision that he really didn't need an eraser. But still, as every artist immersed in their work, his brow was heavy with focus and the end of his pencils were gnawed on with great anticipation.

And maybe after He had spent time critiquing His work and making any last minute changes he sat His pencil down on the desk and poured Himself a drink. He stretched His long legs across the desk and leaned way back in his chair, hands folded behind his head. This was how he liked to soak up the satisfaction that only comes when you've put in the long hours of good work. And as the drink warmed his belly, so did His thoughts of these new creations warm his heart. The slow pace of eternity seemed quite peaceful to Him that day.

But there is one question that raises in my mind thinking about all of this, did God spend time at His table drawing us? If we are made in His image, then what point is there in drawing what He already knew? It's possible He could have looked in a mirror and drawn us from his reflection. But is the drawing of a reflection really accurate? A reflection is only how we see ourselves, not how other people see us. So if we are made in the likeness of God, then I would expect we aren't just a mere reflection. Rather, I believe God had a special place in his heart when he made you and me. Whereas I see Him standing on top of eternity speaking the world into existence with great authority and clarity, I believe He stepped down from on high and knelt down in the earth and spoke with a great smile and wide-eyed wonder when He made us in His image. Each one of us just the same, but also completely unique from one another.


The title of this post was inspired by the second half of Proverbs 8:27 where wisdom is speaking on account of how he/she (is wisdom a person?) has been around since the beginning:

When he established the heavens, I was there;

when he drew a circle on the face of the deep...

That visual of God drawing a circle really made me stop and consider the act of creation in a much different way. I'm not proposing that anything I've written here is at all factual, but I am encouraging us to push our own understanding through the use of our imaginations.

The Risk of Relevancy

At what lengths are we willing to go to sacrifice the Gospel for the sake of being relevant and "liked" in our culture? How long will we continue to copy the world and attach the word "Christian" to it? I don't remember who said it, maybe Derek Webb, but it goes something like; "The label, Christian, attached to anything but a person is just a marketing term." And I'd have to agree with that. How are we really advancing the Kingdom of God by copying the ways of the world? And who are we really fooling?

I really like what my friend Tim Thornton says:

"It's one thing to have a culturally relevant expression and another to hide the truth that is worth seeking in the name of seekers."

Is it because we don't want to be thought a fool that we water down the gospel? Are we that prideful and arrogant? I can only speak from my own experience, but yes, I have been that prideful and arrogant in my walk before. Then I learned to repent. But If you try to appeal to everyone, you will end up standing for nothing. Not that being a Christian means you completely remove yourself from culture, on the contrary, we should be an even greater impact on our culture. However, it's not anything we do in our strength, only by the grace of God.

So maybe it's not a question of being relevant or not, but are we doing only what we hear the Father saying?

On prayer and silence

Prayer I’ve always been a believer in prayer. But it’s more than just believing, I’ve seen and heard the power of prayer. It’s one of the greatest acts of faith we can exercise here on earth. However, I used to think it was all about me when I prayed. “God help me do this” “God I want that”. Right? I’m pretty sure most of us have prayed the same thing before. But it’s not about me. And that’s awesome. Thankfully I have someone greater praying for me and knows my every need, thus I can spend my time in prayer for others.

Silence

Being comfortable with my own thoughts isn’t something I’ve always liked. As a child I enjoyed the constant distraction of television. Or when I went to sleep having the radio on to help drown out my thoughts. But as I’ve grown up I find I need quite time more and more, and actually get frustrated when I go too long without it. Something about learning to listen to that still small voice that is so important. And I really believe that until we are comfortable with silence we will never fully know who we are.

Putting them to good use

I am learning that prayer and silence extend much further from the walls of church. My prayer life looks more like a conversation and I find myself seeking quiet times throughout the day. Just this past weekend I went against the grain and worked in silence. It was difficult at first to not have any computer or music distracting me. No twitter or facebook conversations. Just me, my pen and my sketchbook.

Agree with me or not, that’s fine, but I still encourage you to try this in your own walk. Let me know how it goes and what you learn.

The State of Art

Without a sense of purpose the act of creating is purely selfish. If we don’t have any vision or value behind the work we’re creating it’s all for naught. Vanity.

I’ve seen so much work recently that is is empty and void of meaning. Maybe that’s the artists intentions? Maybe like my friend Rogie said, “thats a picture of the author’s condition.” Only God knows the heart.

I am just a judge of the cover. Please forgive me.

Still my heart wonders. Do people identify more with lost and loneliness and less with hope and purpose? Is it easier to create from a place of melancholy and sadness? Absolutely.

But like Paul said, ” these three remain: faith, hope and love.”

Next Steps

You guys rock. That's the first thing I want to say. After my last post about leaving my current job in a step of faith I have received nothing but encouragement. So now that I have a clear plan of what I'm going to be doing next on my professional journey I thought the least I could do would be to fill you in.

Stable Environment

I will be taking two weeks off after my last day at my current job to catch up on some freelance work as well as spend some time resting with my wife. But starting June 01 I will become the 4th member on the UX team at Fellowship Technologies. After much prayer and consideration I see this opportunity as the right move for me and my family right now. But that's not to say I didn't struggle with feeling like I was selling out to "the man" or anything. The notion of freelancing full-time still intrigues me and is something I want to pursue someday, but right now we need something stable while my wife finishes her degree.

The UX Team that has already been assembled at Fellowship is something I am looking forward to. For the past 2 1/2 years I have been a lone ranger figuring things out for myself. Not to say that it hasn't had its perks, but one can only go so far on his own. So this transition into a team environment is something I'm really looking forward to. Plus, I will be working with people my own age that I will actually have something in common with. My fellow team members include: Matt Vasquez, Nathan Smith and David Brooks.

Walk by Faith not by Sight

I am continually blown away by the grace and favor that God has given me. By continuing to seek His will, I made a decision of faith last week without any secure plans ahead of me to quit my job. I knew that a position with Fellowship was in the cards, but they still hadn't given me a firm decision. So my plan was to work freelance full-time. To which I received an immense amount of support and encouragement in. But in following my heart I found something better than I expected. Sorry, I don't mean to keep repeating myself here, but I just hope to encourage you to stop being afraid, trust God, and let go of all that's holding you back. I don't mean quit today, not by any means, but start praying and see where God might lead you. I know I've waited for over a year now before making this move.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

Last but not least

I still plan to do side work, but more than likely I will be very picky about what projects I work on. (If you have already contacted me about freelance work or would like to you can email me at: hello[at]kylesteed[dot]com.) I think that's one of the greatest advantages to working full-time, you can pick and choose very carefully about what other projects you want to work on. Also, I have no immediate plans of returning to school. This last semester really proved to me that school is a waste of time. Being in my current situation I can see how school is only slowing me down from what I really want to be doing, and what I'm already doing. It's sad to me that we put so much pressure on kids to go to college and get a degree. I don't want to go off on a huge tangent, I will write a post on this topic, but I know people who have their degrees and either (A) aren't using them or (B) still don't have a job.

I know this much. I am blessed to have a vision for my life, a wife that supports me and the skills that pay that bills. Or something like that. ;)

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." - James 1:17

A Time To Shine

After 2 1/2 years at my employer I am taking a step of faith out on my own. Yep, in just 2 weeks I will no longer be working in a cubicle. This definitely hasn't been an easy decision to come to, but I feel like this is where God is calling me. I have spent an enormous amount of time praying and patiently waiting for the right time. Am I nervous? I don't think I would be human if I wasn't. Am I scared? No. God has always provided for me and my family and I trust that He will continue to do so.

So What's Next?

Right now I have a month's worth of freelance ahead of me, and after that I'm not sure. I do have a couple of leads right now with some other companies but nothing set in stone. I hold fast to what Jesus said in Matthew 6:25-27,34 -

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Community

Of course I wouldn't be where I am today without the great community I'm connected to. You know who you are. And a few of you I've already reached out to asking if you have any upcoming design work. I feel like this is a big part of not only my future, but all of ours. As one has a need another can help out. Sometimes that will be in the form of a job and sometimes not. I'm not interested in meeting people just to have a connection, but to build a relationship. And I don't expect anyone to give me hand-outs, please hear me on this. When I say community, I'm talking about a group of people who have the same vision, goals and aspirations as their peers and can depend on each other.

How You Can Help

You can pray. If you don't pray you can start. ;) Just kidding. But seriously, I would love your prayers. Thank you.

Redesigning Myself Part 3

kyle steed redesigning myself part three So far we've looked at the events in my life and the creative process it took to lead to my new design. The other area I want to cover is how my faith has played a part in this whole ordeal. But I don't think it will be as easy to convey as my design process was, it's a bit difficult to make a wireframe of my faith. But nonetheless, I will fill you in with what God has been showing me.

Maturity and the Joy of Suffering

We learn by those things we suffer. Whether that be in life, design or faith.

"...though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered." Hebrews 5:8

In my relationship with God, the times I suffer are always the most rewarding. It doesn't always feel good to me at the time, but looking back on the hardships and bumps in the road I can see how I was being perfected.

In the same way that I suffer in my faith, I can relate that to design. Working with a difficult client, or on a stressful project, is a great way to exercise my faith. When things are going good it's really easy to forget the grace of God. But when times are tough and we struggle just for an ounce of inspiration, we are quick to remember the one who brings us peace.

During this redesign process I became completely overwhelmed and frustrated with the direction I was headed. No amount of outside inspiration could help, in fact it was hurting worse. That's when I had to take a break and rest from it all. I spent a week in Florida with no computer and no focus on design at all. It allowed my mind to clear and prepare a path for new ideas. When I got back home I felt refreshed and more at peace with not having to get my design done right away.

Growing Up is Hard To Do

"... though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again..." Hebrews 5:12

Living a life of "what ifs" is a fantasy. Running from responsibility to fulfill our own desires is foolish. But thankfully, Jesus came to fulfill the law and set us free from having to be perfect. This is where His Grace comes in. So as I learn to grow up and face responsibility I am free to make mistakes along the way. And most assuredly I will. But it doesn't excuse my mistakes. No, rather it offers me the chance to get back on my feet, dust myself off, and try again.

We can use those little victories in our lives to pull strength from in time of need. When I feel defeated I like to remember all I had to overcome in the military. I didn't go to war physically, but there was a great spiritual war going on.

Our faith should be one of utmost dependence on our Heavenly Father.

So when I design something the process usually involves a lot of changes. Sometimes I get started on the right track the first time, but more often I end up having to go back and refine my original idea. The arrogance that I could get it right the first time is how I operated when I first started out designing. But over time I have been humbled enough to know that even though I may start on the right track, there is still room for improvement.

Bringing It All Together

The design process is an integral part of my maturity just as my life is an integral part of my faith. They are all interwoven together to form the fabric of what makes me, me. For example, I can't live my life without being a Christian, just as I can't live my life without creating something. That's as simple as I can put it.

I hoped this series helped give you a greater insight to the choices I made for my new design. If you haven't already, please go back and read Part 1 and Part 2.

Thanks again to everyone who continues to support me and show their love by leaving comments and re-tweeting. You rock.