relationships

New Friends On The Block

newFriends This year was great. I got the chance to travel to California and St. Louis and even drove myself out to Wyoming for a weekend. BTW, 14 hours in the car will make you question your sanity. So here's a list of some great people I had the pleasure of meeting this year.

Aaron Irizarry

You're probably already familiar with Aaron if you're reading this, as I had been too via twitter. But this past summer I had the opportunity to fly out to Southern California and meet him face-to-face. Aaron is a family man and an all around "rad" guy. Even though I didn't get to see him as much as I would've liked, just visiting with him for a few hours at his house was awesome. We even sat down and recorded a video blog together.

Chris Wallace

Meeting Chris was like meeting a long lost brother that I never knew existed. Even though he's younger than me he doesn't act like it. Maybe it's his story of surviving cancer or the fact that having a wife and two kids is what drives him to succeed. Whatever it is, Chris has it, and I'm proud to know him. While I was out there in St. Louis we went to a Cardinals game and to take some pictures down at the graffiti wall. But probably my favorite part was just sitting down and talking with him. Check out Lift.

Firehost

Ok obviously Firehost isn't a real person, but I did get to meet two of the people behind Firehost, Chris Drake and Casey Barthels. I don't know if I can say enough good things about these guys. Humble, reliable, innovative, generous, the list could go on. But seriously, if it weren't for these guys I'd still be stuck on the phone with Media Temple having to put up with their poor customer service. Thanks Firehost.

Garth Humbert

Garth is one of those guys flying under the radar. You may not see him in the limelight but don't be fooled, this guy has some serious design chops. It was Garth who flew me out to California and opened his home to me for a short weekend this past summer. Upon arrival I thought we would spend more time in front of the computer, but it turned out to be a relaxing mini-vacation with a trip down to San Diego and to the Temecula Valley Wine country. That was one of my favorite weekends of this past year. Be sure and check out his new company May.

Matthew Simo

It was only the second WordPress meetup group I had been to and the group had grown from about 10 people to close to 50. So it came as a surprise when I found myself sitting next to a like-minded designer. Plus he wore a really cool hat. Since then we've hung out more and more, and you can usually find us up at The Flying Saucer on Monday nights sharing a pint or two and talking about life. Matt is currently working on a new version of his website and I know it will be featured on smashing magazine, at least five times.


That's what it's all about folks, making real connections with real people. If you would've asked me at the beginning of 2009 if I thought I would be traveling across the country to meet people I only knew online I might've said "cool" (seeing as how I did meet my wife online) but it certainly wasn't expected.

Now I'm excited to meet you in 2010. If you're going to be in Dallas, let me know. If you like good beer, good food and good design let's plan a trip one weekend. I want to get out there and meet those of you who I've been connecting with online.

What I'm Not

mouth illustration by Kyle Steed I feel there's a lot of discussion, not just in the design community, about how we label/market/brand ourselves. I'm no brand expert, but let me tell you what I do know... me. I know who I am and more importantly I know who I'm not. That's what I want to tell you today.

Creative

I read a great article last week, Death to Creatives!!!, explaining the way we misuse the word "creative". It's not a noun, it doesn't describe a person, place or thing. Rather it's used to describe the person, place or thing in context. So me telling you I'm creative really makes no sense, albeit sounds good. But me telling you the way I design a website or illustrate a graphic is creative does make sense.

But there are other ways we can be "creative" outside of our careers, take cooking for example. I love to cook and enjoy tweaking the recipe to see how it turns out. Sometimes it fails, but every once in a while I get it just right and the food is delicious. Try it for yourself once in a while, shake things up, and most importantly have fun.

Rockstar

This title should only be given to people like Iggy Pop, Steven Tyler or Rick Astley (just kidding). I also hear it makes for an incredible energy drink. But the one thing "rockstar" shouldn't describe is a designer. Whoever coined this phrase for the design community should be ashamed. The lifestyle of a true "rockstar" in no way reflects the lifestyle of a designer. Unless you know designers out there that are on world tour, being followed by hardcore fans and more women than you can shake a stick at AND the millions of dollars flowing in, I think it's a little absurd to label yourself as such. (Please excuse the run on sentence.)

Plus, no client deserves to have their house trashed, liquor cabinet emptied and women stolen (a.k.a the "Rockstar" treatment). So it's time we put aside childish things and take a good look at who we really are. Hopefully we'll see that we're not some jackass "rockstar" but more of a confident designer.

Know It All

I don't know everything. Please don't assume I do. There is only one person who ever will. But I am always learning and improving, from past mistakes mostly. And when I approach a new client, or a new project, I focus on keeping an open mind. Listening to the goals of the client/project instead of hammering them with my own ideas will lead to a better working relationship. Sometimes though you don't always get to work with the optimal client, so knowing when to input your "2 cents" is a fine art you learn by experience.

Individual

I was created for dependence upon others. I thrive off the relationships in my life. From my personal relationship with Jesus, to my marriage, to the great group of friends I connect with face-to-face, to the larger creative community I interact with online. I can honestly say that I have a need for you all in my life. It's only when I think I can hold the world on my shoulders that my feet fail me and I crumble under the weight, tired and beat down. And the same thing happens in design. When we try and handle a project all on our own it wears us out. Without those wiser and more experienced watching over us we wouldn't be able to better ourselves. We need to bring back the master/apprentice model of working.

world on shoulders illustrations by Kyle Steed

Final Thoughts

I hope you learned more about who I am than what I'm not. My goal here is to help you think before you speak when describing yourself and what you do. I know words have a lot of power and when we use them loosely we usually end up putting our foot in our mouths. So that's why I think it's important to be as transparent as possible, and be the first to admit our mistakes. We can all learn from each other, but only if we're willing to open up and share.

7 daily needs

Between my wife and I it would be fair to say that I enjoy the mornings a lot more. My wife is definitely the night owl. Not me. Maybe it's the four years that the military made me work 12 hour shifts and wake up at 4 am to exercise? Or maybe it's the fact that I have a dog who thinks it's fun to wake me up by stretching his fronts paws right in my face and then rolling all over me until I get up to let him out. But I like to think that the time I have in the morning is worth getting up for. I see it as a new leaf turning over, another chance to right the wrongs and to start fresh. The following activities help me on a day-to-day basis. I hope they help you too.

This doesn't necessarily mean spending an hour on your knees in a solemn state of mind. Maybe you pray in the shower, or before you eat breakfast. I don't know, that's between you and God. But from personal experiences I've found it's impossible to have a heart-to-heart with God when feeling obligated to pray. My best advice is just be real with God and allow your heart to be open.

Some of the most intimate moments I've had in prayer have been when I laid bare all my doubts and fears and allowed The Lord to wash over me with His Word. If you have never prayed out loud, or at all for that matter, I highly recommend you give it a try. Once you start a journey for the Truth, God will find you.

There is a great book called "The Artists Way". It's marketed as a spiritual path to higher creativy. Maybe, like me, you are a creative person and think why do I need a book to help me be creative? From my own experience the book is not meant to teach you how to be creative but to assist you in letting your creativity flow freely.

Writing is something I enjoy, but not something that comes all that easy to me. And keeping a journal is a perfect way to throw out all the rules and express your desires, your opinions or your next great idea for a project. If writing is not your style why not keep a sketchbook or collage book? There are plenty of great resources online and in bookstore that show you how to make your own journals.

Think of it as a way to clear out all the clutter that might be clogging up what you need to be focusing on.

Eating healthier and in moderation helps me feel better about my self. I think it's sad how our modern culture has chosen fast food as a respectable choice for breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It sets the tone for your bodies daily nutritional needs. I'm not saying that we should be stuck in the 50s. Times have changed and it's tough in our fast-paced society to sit down as a family. But even sitting down with a bowl of cereal and some juice will do your body good.

Following suit with eating a good breakfast, it is also important to choose wisely what you drink in the morning. I think most everyone would agree coffee is the "best part of waking up". However, while coffee is a good place to start, as your body actually benefits from caffeine (in moderation), there are other alternatives such as hot tea. Most parts of the world actually drink hot tea instead of coffee. With the vast amount of herbal teas available there would seem to be an extra health benefit from choosing tea over coffee. And lets not forget the classics. Orange juice (complete with 100% Vitamin C), milk (try to stay on the organic side and you're body will love you more) and of course there is always water. I actually find water to be quite refreshing in the morning while my stomach is not ready for something more acidic.

Maybe it's the first thing you do when you wake up, or maybe you wait until later. Whichever time you chose you'll notice you feel healthier throughout the day. My daily workout consist of taking my dogs on a walk. Walking is the perfect way to stay in shape your whole life and is actually the most popular form of exercise in Japan.

In America we live by the creed "bigger is better!" So all you see in fitness magazines are perfectly sculpted, bulky men and women. For me, simple is always better. Why try and kill myself over attaining a body that I neither need nor really want. There are tons of workouts that can be done at home. Pushups, crunches, lunges, squats, chin-ups, stair climbing (works great if you live in apartments), and if you add a core exercise ball or a small set of free weights you can increase the intensity of these basic workouts. I think the best advice I've heard about working out is listen to your body and know what your limits are.

I love to hear what the world sounds like. And where I'm located that includes the sounds of birds, cars passing on a nearby road, dogs barking, lawn mowers and the wonderful sound the wind makes. Most of all I like to listen in between those moments for the silence. Wherever you live, whatever your surroundings, open your ears and explore how amazing it is to be alive.

Another way I enjoy starting my day is turning on a favorite song. If I feel like relaxing I'll turn on some Iron and Wine, or if I'm feeling energetic I'll turn on some Arcade Fire and if I feel like I need to let some steam off I like to listen to Underoath. Whatever your taste in music, find something that suits you.

When God created man He gave him rule over all the earth, but one thing was lacking, a help mate. God saw that it was no good for man to be alone and so he created woman, a perfect fit for him. My intention here is to show that as humans we were designed to live with support in our lives. We were never meant to be solely independent. We all need someone we can talk to, about anything and everything. Sure, keeping a journal is a good place to start, but a journal doesn't talk back. We need people in our lives that will talk straight with us, and tell us when we're screwing things up. We need those relationships in our lives where we can confide in the other person and vice-versa.

For the record I hate "step" programs. That's why I chose not to use a title like "7 daily steps to a better you" or some junk. They never work. I think we are easily drawn to self-help books and articles like that because we want the easy way out. We want to know the answer to everything and how to fix every problem. But that's the beauty of life, we never know what each new day will bring. Every day is another chance to start fresh.