a confession

The following contains a story of hope and brutal honesty that is not popular to talk about amongst most Christians.

For as long as I can remember the grip of lust has followed me around like a lost puppy that I just couldn't say no to. Growing up in the "free world" has it's many advantages, free water, free speech, free education to name just a few, but to every coin there are two sides. The flip side of the "free world" is the glamorous, dirty exploitation of a woman's body to help sell a product. You don't have to be a Christian either to see this truth, just flip through the pages of any popular magazine or better yet, take a trip to your local mall. These images plastered on buildings, magazines, websites with seductive women staring back at us exploit the weakness in men's hearts everywhere and weaken our defenses to keep our minds pure.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

Oh boy, this is not going to be easy. But it always gets worse before it gets better.

A few days before my breakthrough I had sent out a text to two of my closest brothers asking for their prayers. This war inside of me had been building a time bomb and I knew if I didn't call for help then all hell was going to break loose inside of me. Well not literally, but my heart was feeling crushed under an incredible weight and my soul was running on fumes. You see, even though I knew I was forgiven for all sin past, present and future my mind still wanted to mess with me and tell me that there's no way I could be forgiven for how many times I've sinned. But that's why God is God, and His love in unconditional and beyond human understanding.


The power I've found in bringing the darkness of my heart to light is out of this world, down right heavenly! The Catholics do have one thing right, confessional. Maybe not in a booth, and maybe not to a person that sits on the other side of a partition, but the simple truth behind confessing our sins can not be argued with.

"Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." James 5:16

My hope is that Christians everywhere would turn their hearts to The Lord and find forgiveness through the power of the Blood of Jesus Christ. That IS the stuff dreams are made of. If you've ever struggled with unforgiveness, the Blood covers that, if you've ever struggled with tormenting temptations, yep the Blood's got it under control, if you've ever struggled with thoughts of suicide, no problem for the Blood of Jesus Christ.

I was born separated from God, grew up living a life filled with doubt, about my salvation, shame, from my addiction to porn, self-righteousness, from never having smoked, drank, or killed anyone (under the assumption that God had a rating scale for sin), and confusion, about how to be a man. But Hallelujah that now I can live a life free from doubt, shame or confusion and be the man that I was always meant to be.