A letter to my thirties

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Dear thirty,

It's nice to finally meet you. I don't believe I've ever felt as good as I do right now. Working for myself doing what I love. Being married for six and a half years to a beautiful woman who loves me. If I look back to where I was ten years ago and compare it to where I am today I am in awe. It just goes to show you that a lot of hard work mixed with a little bit of faith makes for an incredible life.

I don't know what the next ten years will bring my way. But I'll be honest, I'm expecting nothing less than the best. Sure there will be challenges to overcome, but if life was easy then what would be the point? Plus I have awesome people that love me and support me that I can lean on. That's the most anyone could ask for I believe.

So now that you're here thirty I just want to say don't ever feel like you know it all. Remain humble and always ready to learn. Life is full of surprises and no one has it all figured out. Even those that act like it are doing just that, acting. Be true to yourself and laugh a lot.

Sincerely,

Kyle Steed

Freelance Week #21

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Here are some things I felt, learned and struggled with this past week: 1. Art is something that shouldn't have to be explained to enjoy, design is something that's irritating when not properly understood

2. I feel caught in between life as an artist and designer. My hope is that the artist wins out in the end.

3. I feel, more than ever before, the desire to start a family

On Art

I feel like I've always been aware of the world around me. I think that's important for an artist. To find beauty in the ordinary. To ask questions about the things we can't explain. But it's in finding one's own artistic voice that I've found to be most difficult. I still struggle with my own style. But you do something great every once in a while that let's you know you're making progress. And then you move on. Testing, failing, experimenting, working hard on your next big breakthrough. Right now I'm just working hard.

On Life

The grass always seems greener on the other side. For me, in this moment, it means looking over the fence at my friends in ATX or NYC working for cool companies, making great things and wondering what the hell I'm doing here in Dallas working for myself. But I have a vision, a goal if you will, that involves much greater things than the right here and now. And it's this goal, however uncertain at times, that keeps driving me to work harder and do better. I have to remember just one foot in front of the other.

Freelance Week #20

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I can't believe I've already made it twenty weeks working for myself. That's one-hundred and forty days. Dang! I love waking up every day not knowing what's next. Walking in greater steps of faith is what I wanted, and I feel that's exactly what I'm getting. Last weeks post was really short. Just one line in fact. But that's how I felt, and that's the great thing about writing your own blog. You can do what every you want. However, this week I feel like writing a lot about what I've learned in the past two weeks. So now as the coffee settles in to my bloodstream let me begin.

On Work

If I'm being honest, I've felt more on edge the last two weeks. Waiting on what's next has been really difficult. So I'm learning how to deal with the emotions that come along with the ebbs and flows of freelance. I have to take it one day at a time and focus on what I can accomplish in that day and be satisfied. But that's easier said than done.

It was just a few short months ago that my wife and I were sitting in the mountains of Colorado when I got the revelation about working because I love to, not because I have to provide. It's funny how quick we are to forget things. Or maybe it's not forgetting, because obviously I still remember, but rather how difficult it is to change ones way of thinking. I was raised by a single Mom who worked long hours to provide for my brother and I. My Dad moved all around the country to keep work. Before I realized it my view of working and provision were already being formed.

But here is some truth I've come to realize:

1. Work Hard. Because nothing is ever just handed to us. The spirit of self-entitlement is a great deception. We don't deserve to have anything handed to us, yet we demand so much. It took me a long time to come to this realization. Thankfully though I have realized that hard work really does pay off.

2. Trust God. He is provider. The relationship I have with God is like no other. He is always present in my life when I turn to run away. He is always full of grace when mine runs out. He is always ready to love when my heart turns cold. He is always quick to defend me when no one else will. He is waiting and eager for me to unload all of my hopes and dreams, fears and burdens on him. His trust can not be broken.

3. Enjoy Life. We only have this one. It's too short to waste. Find people that you love and invest everything you have in everything they are. Find something you love to do and go do that. Stop checking your facebook so much, those aren't your real friends anyways. Cook dinner and savor the flavor. Enjoy a nice bottle of wine (or whatever you prefer) every once in a while. Most of all don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do, especially yourself.

On Life

Now less than three weeks before I turn thirty. The big three zero. I keep coming back to this but I feel it's a pivotal moment in my life. The same year that I've decided to quit working for someone else and start doing what I love is the same year I leave my twenties behind. I love that. I love getting older because I feel my age is catching up to my heart. I really am an old soul.

There are some exciting things happening this summer. I've been invited to join a panel of visual artist later next month and talk about what I do. I'm also really excited about this new co-working space in Dallas, Weld, and getting to work alongside some awesome people. Then in July I will be heading in to the high country of Colorado for a weekend of fly fishing and camping with some of the best men in the world. To top it all off we'll be spending an entire week in Florida in August with some of our very best friends. How could I possibly enjoy life any more?

On Faith

My heart is so full of thanks. Not just for all that I have but for all the people around me. I love the relationships God has given me to invest in and be invested in by. It really opened up room in my heart when I realized I don't have to be friends with everyone, but instead could choose to invest my time to those closest to me.

I've been learning a lot about boundaries this year. Where and how to draw them is sometimes difficult. I've had my feelings hurt by other peoples boundaries simply because I didn't understand the importance of them at the time. But seeing the value of protecting your heart and who you choose to share it has been really rewarding to me. To put it simply, I've given up trying to please everybody and instead just focused on being myself and being open with those closest to me.

Freelance Week #18

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Today's post is brought to you by a runny nose and staying hydrated with plenty of water.

On Life

Life moves pretty fast. It seems hard to believe that another week has passed us all by. I mean, I put my pants on one leg at a time just like anyone else. Which means I also dream about tomorrow like everyone else. Which means it's hard to live each day to the fullest. But I try. I try to make the most of the time I'm given in a single day because I believe tomorrow isn't a promise. But it doesn't change the fact that life doesn't slow down. Between coffee, work, family, friends, more work, more coffee, and the list goes on, it's easy to let the weeks pass us by.

Rest.

Just say it out loud. Rest. I love the way it sounds out loud. Rest. It's like your words are taking a hot bath when you say it. Rest. There's a calling for us as believers to enter in to rest. But more on that in a minute.

On Work

I love it when work doesn't feel like work. But even in those moments where work feels like work I still love every second of it. I don't know about you but I thrive when I'm faced with a challenge. Just the possibility to learn something new excites me. The thrill of the unknown. I guess this is the modern day equivalent to heading west. Working for myself I mean. Or maybe it's always been this way. I would like to imagine that in the hearts of all of us lies a place of desperate need for adventure and the unknown.

On Faith

Let us therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves], that no one may fall or perish by the same kind of unbelief and disobedience [into which those in the wilderness fell] Hebrews 4:11

I love that the amplified version says "strive diligently" to enter rest because it speaks straight to who I am. I have a really difficult time resting. Unless I'm sick, that's the only time I don't mind not doing anything. But for the other three-hundred and sixty-odd days of the year I have a hard time resting. The gears are always turning. I'm always thinking two steps ahead. So when I lay down to rest I seriously have to practice not thinking of anything. Sometimes it's like tearing out pages of a book in my mind until I get to a blank page, then I focus on that. I don't know where I'm going with this... but just want to say I'm resting.

Freelance Week #17

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On Life

This week was pretty much swallowed up by my trip to South Carolina. I was invited by the wonderful Mr. Gene Crawford to come and speak at the Converge conference. But I had no idea when I said yes that I would be speaking to my largest audience yet. Don't get me wrong, it's no SXSW panel with 800+ people in the audience, but it was still a decent number of folks.

I don't really get nervous before I speak. The morning of I usually like to take it easy, find some time to meditate and pray, and just go over everything in my head. I find it helpful to focus on my speech as more of a conversation I'm having with the audience. They are just people too, and for whatever reason they're there to listen to what I have to say. That's not something I'm nervous about, but rather something I'm honored by.

The conference as a whole was really good. Good crowd. Good vibe. Good city. I like to see more of these micro-conferences popping up in different places. I think the more regional and intimate we can get with conferences the better the information and interactions will be with those who, not only speak, but attend.

On Work

Work is still at low tide. There are one or two projects coming up this next week that I'm excited about and that's all I know right now. I love walking by a greater measure of faith and trusting that work will come when it needs to. The revelation about "I work because I love to, not because I have to" continues to sink in deeper and deeper.

On Faith

Faith is a funny thing to measure. I used to find myself measuring my faith by my emotions. That's a dangerous place to be. One with really high highs and really low lows. It becomes a place of performance. The more we perform the better we feel, and the better we feel the greater our faith. Thankfully that's not the way our Father intended us to live at all. I love what David says here in Psalm 37:

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

It doesn't say "Take delight in the Lord... keep these rules, know your lines and don't mess up... and he will give you the desires of your heart." There is no grace in that way of thinking. We are not actors performing for the approval of our God, but rather we are children in the house of our Father who loves us for who we are.

What is Dallas

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As of late I've become really frustrated with how people view Dallas. I know it's been a long process for me to finally come to terms with living here. I've seen friends come and go. People that say they want to make a difference here and then turn on a dime for "greener pastures". Nothing against those people personally, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. So instead of just venting my frustrations and doing nothing about it, I am doing something. That thing is now live on the internet at whatisdallas.com. My goal with this website is to help bring the creative people in Dallas together. Unity is the one thing we've been lacking in Dallas. We have so many little circles across the metroplex and nowhere that connects us all together.

If you live and work in Dallas and want to be a part of the site you can fill out the simple form by clicking on the "join us" button. The site exists only as a hub to view the people in Dallas and nothing more. I have no intention of placing ads or sponsors on the website. It's not about making money, it's about connecting people.

Update

I've received a lot of positive feedback from people about this small project. I'm stoked about it. I love that it's inspired so many others to make something similar in their own city. With that being said, there is something I feel needs to be made clear. While I don't mind people using the framework I built as a starting point, I never intended it to be copied or sold. The main purpose of the site is simple, connect creative people with other creative people. So with that said, I hope you find time to build something similar for your own city.